Agency… Not Control

Photo by Binyamin Mellish on Pexels.com

Farmer Joe wanted his crops to grow.

He planted seeds. He watered them. He fertilized them. He weeded them. He waited patiently.

There was a good chance that Farmer Joe would produce a good crop that year.

Did he? Was success guaranteed?

You Can’t Guarantee Success

Farmer Joe can do many things to ensure a good crop, but he can’t make his seeds grow.

He can’t make the sun shine. He can’t make the rain fall. He can’t make the seed sprout.

There’s a good chance that the sun will shine. There’s a good chance that the rain will fall. There’s a good chance that the seed will sprout.

But he can’t force it. Success is not guaranteed.

But You Can Guarantee Failure

However, Farmer Joe could have guaranteed failure. He could have refused to plant the seeds and not done any of the work, and he could have guaranteed that his crops would not grow.

Farmer Joe has agency, not control. His actions matter, but they aren’t everything.

Many people fail in whatever they want to do because they give up before they start. They dream, and that’s about as far as it goes.

But this doesn’t mean that the farmers who didn’t have a good crop didn’t work hard. Sometimes things happen that are outside of their control.

Successful people usually have this in common:

They tried again. And again. And again. After each failure, they got back up and tried again.

Failure Has a Bright Side

Failure isn’t all bad. Failures and setbacks often produce good character. People who don’t have it easy develop patience, endurance, and compassion toward others who are going through a difficult time.

I want my children to succeed. But I also want them to experience challenges and setbacks. Why? Because I’m more concerned about their character than their success. If success comes too easily, they may not develop the kind of character I want them to have. I don’t want success at the expense of becoming an unpleasant person.

If You Fail, Then What?

Recognize that you have agency, but not unlimited control. You can change things, fix things, and make improvements, but you don’t need to blame yourself for things you couldn’t control.

Focus on the things you can control. The first thing you can control is whether or not you give up. So don’t!

Did you make any mistakes that you could fix the next time around? Then do it!

Did the experience give you any good ideas for changes you could make? Try them!

Sometimes, of course, you just have to try again. Farmer Joe might have done everything right, but the weather conditions were terrible. But maybe next year, the weather will be perfect! So don’t give up. Sometimes two or three times is the charm.

Need more encouragement? Look up “Chinese bamboo tree.” Many people have written about how success is like a Chinese bamboo tree. Sometimes you may see little or no progress for several years, until one day – voila! – you suddenly have a tree that has grown 90 feet tall in just a few weeks. Don’t stop working just before you succeed!